I feel like a ship without a rudder, just drifting around without any
direction, on a sea that’s gone calm for the first time I can remember.
Perhaps this is a sign that now's a good time to drop an anchor. Put down roots. Develop your sense of self outside of crisis.
I’ve just started taking really crazy shots in the dark lately to try
to find new things I could say yes to, but I don’t have any real sense of direction.
If these are longer-term activities you'll find out over time if this is your direction or not. You don't have to know going in if this is the "right thing" or if you'll still want to do it in 5 years (and truly you cannot really know until you get there anyway) It's also ok to not really have a direction I think, though society might say otherwise.
I also wanted to plug therapy. Even if you don't feel like you "need it" or like you "have a problem" it can be really helpful to talk things out with a professional. Sometimes there's stuff you don't want to tell your friends or don't trust your friends to react to the way you need, therapy's good for that. Therapists can also give you new insight on stuff you have already thought about. And they can help you find directions if you want that.
~Smitheroons