Our parents don't usually get as much airtime as, say, our kids, but I've found that most of us have a lot to say about them anyway.
I'll go first: My mom, Carol, was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease a few years ago, and I moved home to San Francisco to take care of her. After several turbulent years spent trying to keep her at home (even though she ran out of money) and get a diagnosis (even though she was uninsured), I'm happy to say she's finally settled at a memory care facility in Phoenix, AZ. She's doing worse if you zoom out, of course, but better if you zoom in – thanks to the structure and socialization that the facility is able to provide. That all sounds neat and tidy, to my ear, but it has all been and felt very messy.
For reasons mostly related but also unrelated to my mom, I've emerged from these last few years having lost most of my interest in the technology industry – and, by extension, in my work. (I know I'm not alone in that here.) As I've constructed my new normal, I've tried to channel Cory Doctorow's notion of "bugging in instead of bugging out" by starting
a business that lets me help other people who are caring for their aging parents, too:
"What I want is for people to be able to vividly imagine that the heroism in the moment of disaster is to avert catastrophe by bugging in instead of bugging out. ... If you ever take a first aid class, 99% of that first aid class is the knowledge that everyone else is going to assume that someone else is going to take care of a problem, and the realization that the perfect person doing the perfect thing is less important than any person doing something. Even if you know a small amount about looking after someone, you should rush forward. Be prepared to get out of the way if someone says, 'I'm a doctor,' but rush forward." (Source)
If you think I might be able to help you or someone you know, I'd really like to try. You can find me at this email address any time, or at
www.quiltcoaching.com.
<3,
Libby
libby brittain
415.794.9937